Terms of Service
1. Acceptance of Terms
By accessing this transmission vector (website) or acquiring our classified liquid assets (beer), you agree to be bound by these Terms of Engagement. If you disagree, disconnect immediately.
2. Age Verification
You confirm under penalty of perjury that you have reached the legal age to consume intoxicating substances in your jurisdiction. Falsifying your age is a critical security breach and will result in immediate termination of your access.
3. Asset Allocation (Purchases)
All transactions are final. We reserve the right to limit asset distribution (purchases) to prevent hoarding by opposing factions. We are not responsible for the side effects of sudden enlightenment or aggressive hopping.
4. Intellectual Property
The code, schematics, branding, and recipes found here are classified properties of ¿SCENARIO? BREWING CO. Unauthorized replication or reverse engineering will be met with severe legal countermeasures.
5. Disclaimer of Liability
We provide these tactical brews "as is." We accept no liability for missed deadlines, altered perceptions of reality, or the sudden urge to question the establishment after consumption.